Survivor’s Create & Curate

REJECTION
She looked at the small photograph illuminated by the lamp. The silence around her was deafening. The smiling faces mocked her sadness. Feelings of rejection hit her like a wave. Like an abyss ready to swallow her. Cold and inevitable. She slowly put the picture into the box on her desk. The blank expression on her face said it all. It said this was not the first time she had felt this pain. She traced the edges of the cardboard, her mind racing through time. Looping in and out of memories. The family she longed to be close to. Every moment she was forgotten. Every “I love you” unreturned. Her mother’s smile pierced her from the box. The beauty she wanted so desperately to be part of her life, staring seemingly through her. She knew the joy was a façade. She knew the smile was only there to distract from the hate in her mother’s eyes. The greed in her father’s. The despair in her own. She knew the happy family in the photo did not exist. That is why it is so painful. For a brief, agonizing moment, she let herself feel the heaviness of it all. She allowed the phantom voice in the back of her mind to suggest she was a fool. That all the effort, every terrorizing second, was a waste. All the time spent to convince herself she was lovable was for nothing. She felt herself shrink back into the scared little girl she once was. She wanted to close the box, throw herself onto the bed, and sob. But just as the panic began to rise, she looked at the many images pasted on the walls around her. Friendly features glanced back at her. Genuine bliss danced across each snapshot. Moments in time worth remembering. People she was lucky enough to make her own. Her confidence grew as she held on to each memory. They loved her. They cared about her. Her world was not limited to the people who raised her. She peered once more into the family in the box, and she felt relief. She felt comfort in knowing she was free from the constant disappointment. She felt solace in knowing she was not alone anymore. She took a deep breath and slowly slid the lid back onto the box, sealing it for now. A part of her would still quietly mourn for the love she yearned for, but for now, she could rejoice in her freedom. She no longer had to feel the weight of the brokenness they made her feel. The abandonment and neglect. She was no longer stuck. She held the box of her bad memories for the last time. Gently rocking, soothing her inner child. Picking up the pieces, she placed the package in the farthest corner of her closet and turned off the lights. Shutting the door, symbolizing the beginning of a new chapter. A new start. She finally had the strength to move on. The whole world ahead of her.
– Dakota-